I, Shinobi: Naruto Uzumaki
by The Abominable BlowHard
Summary: Okay So you get the cliche. I woke up in a fictional world as another person. And this person just so happens to be the main character! Okay this can't be real right? I know how it should turn out, but things have already begun to change. How do I not only keep my self alive and undiscovered, but also keep the world safe?Extra-Insert-Story.[Not-self] Dnt like thn dnt read.
1. Chapter 1

**Waking Up As Naruto Uzumaki**

* * *

So I guess I should start out by telling you about my life before this happened. I was... Oh, god... _was!_ A woman in my late thirties. I was about 4'8" with a slightly muscular build. I was slender, but not thin, you know?

My hair was a dull copper color, like a dark reddish, but still on this side of being called brunette. And yeah, the carpet matched.

Any time I would feel, well, anything, I would jump on my treadmill. So my legs got beefed. My calves were a little too big, and my thighs while not fatty wouldn't fit in most jeans with my waist size. I had the thigh gap some guys like... But I had no butt to mention. It was as flat as my stomach.

My real redeeming feature in the looks department, had to be my breasts. They were firm, not as soft as some of the women I've felt up, but they were also round and didn't hang as much either. Depending on the brand I could fit into a C or D bra pretty comfortably. And while I didn't really need the bra to keep them up, I would usually wear one to keep them still while I ran or to keep my nipples from showing.

Sometimes I would go without one intentionally to show them off. I had fun with that.

I was married once. But I guess he thought he could do better.

The only thing I got out of the marriage was the puppy we bought together. We got her because her fur was close to the same color as my hair.

I know she's a type of spaniel, but I don't know which specific one. She has these long ears with curly fur on them. They always look like a mess. The rest of her fur lays flat.

I named her Gingersnap.

God do I miss her. I would give anything to have her back now. I cried on her almost every day after my divorce. She was always ready to comfort me. She didn't even seem to mind when I snotted... Though, I was the one who would clean it out of her fur.

I had a great job. I was a programmer at a software company. The name of the company doesn't mater. I'm not even in the same world anymore.

But I guess one public breakdown was enough to ruin that.

After that I worked nights in a convenience store.

I had a lot of good friends too.

But it turns out slashing your ex-husband's tires is a felony offense. He dropped the charges on the condition that I replaced the tires. He's got a restraining order now.

But I earned it, and damn me if I'm not proud of it.

Anyway that's how I began my life as a shut-in homebody. I only ever left my apartment to go to work. I even get my groceries there. So I guess it was a convenient store after all. My apartment complex has a laundry facility so I usually do them on my nights off. If no one is awake and down there.

I started watching shows online. Mostly things that a bunch of my coworkers at my last job told me to watch. Game of thrones, the walking dead, and anime.

I fell in love with anime. And I guess now, that was my saving grace. I certainly wouldn't have been able to cope with this situation if I hadn't recognized the world I'm now in.

I found that my favorite characters were like my best friends. Picolo, Gohan, Chad, Grimjaw, Zoro, Gajeel. I always seemed to like the side guys best. Now I'm not a one way girl... In fact, while I like men well enough to have married one, I prefer women, my dream is to have a harem like I'm in some kind of ecchi.

And with my love of anime came my introduction to fanfictions... I read so many of them I can't even count them. But some stood out to me. One author actually stood out more than the others. He had so many idea's and concepts of chakra mechanics and he was always so animated when he spoke of them.

And he's a fellow divorcee. So he understood some of what I went through. We shared some conversations and then it's like he dropped of the edge of the planet. We never met in person, but I think he was the one who motivated me to try my hand at it... but what I wrote got removed for being too explicit. Hell, the name of it gave it away. Bedroom jutsu's. It didn't even last a full day.

As it turns out, a lot of what he came up with actually worked when I tried to put it to use... but I'll get to that later. I have to thank him for the idea's he gave me and apologize for spoiling anything he may have wanted to be a big secret. But it turns out some of that helped me. His were simple stories. And this... this was as real to me as Gingersnap.

I went to bed that night with a high fever telling myself that if it wasn't down in the morning I would go to urgent care. Gingersnap lay beside me whimpering as if she had been scolded for something. My last words to my only real friend were that she was a good girl and I would see her in the morning...

My last words to my best—no _only_ friend, were a lie.

* * *

Waking up was a splitting migraine.

Even then I knew things weren't right.

The bed felt wrong.

I had one of those memory foam mattresses. This was a spring mattress and one of the springs had come out. I didn't know the implications of this detail at the time and simply forced my eyes open.

The apartment was worse.

I thought I had been abducted or something and began to panic. I was ready to scream and try to force my way outside, but when I tried to get up my legs didn't work. Well really they did work, they were just not my legs.

I ended up on the floor.

It wasn't as spartan as I would have thought, and it was cleaner than I should have expected. But at the time I hadn't realized yet exactly where I was. I quickly looked around the room to make sure no one heard me fall and seeing that the apartment was empty, looked down at the legs that I couldn't operate correctly.

They weren't my legs.

Oh god!

These legs belonged to a child!

Where were my sculpted calves? My calloused feet? Why was I dressed in boxer shorts!?

I needed answers and couldn't explain any of it! I finally just panicked. I had a meltdown right then. This wasn't real, it couldn't be, right?

I was in someone else's body! And now I was snotting all over it. Shaking and hyperventilating and sobbing in fear. All I needed now was Gingersnap to come climbing into my lap and offering to lick up my tears and snott.

Was she even okay?

With that thought the snotting caught it's second wind.

After I had cried myself out, I decided to at least find out who I was now. So I got up and looked for a mirror. On my way to the bathroom I pulled out the boxer shorts to check my gender at least...

I had a penis.

Holding my breath to suppress the panic and mortification at having just peeked on myself, I made it to the mirror and saw my face.

A face with six whiskers, three on each side. reaching up to touch it I realized they weren't whisker marks like every one always wrote about. They were lines, grooves in his skin. Not just marks of color, but divots that were...

Very sensitive...

Shaking myself to alleviate the sensations, I finally realized exactly who I was. I had not only been sent to another world, but I was the main frigging character!

* * *

So I spent most of the morning trying to either wake up from the dream or undo the hallucination. I refused to leave the apartment for fear of leaving my apartment in reality and doing something embarrassing. When nothing seemed to change other than the angle of the sun, I finally tried to come to grips with the world I was in.

I mean, it wasn't like I was completely lost.

I knew my body's name. I knew the name of the village. I even knew the future! Judging from his size, I would say Naruto should be graduating soon.

Or... Already had.

On his bedside table was a metal plate bound in cloth. This was the forehead band that ninja wore.

That gave me a small jolt.

And now I actually looked at his place. This wasn't what the fan fictions always wrote about, and I never got much screen time in his apartment on the anime.

It was mostly clean, and it had some decorations in it. A small house plant, a bit of furniture, nothing screaming vandalism or sabotage.

Then I checked his closet. I was expecting it to be full of orange, but it was empty.

So, in search of the missing cloths, I check his washer. It was small compared to the ones in the real world, but it looked like it would hold a full load.

And bingo, one orange jumpsuit, and a black tee, as well as a change of underwear.

No socks though. Until now I hadn't realized it, but in his sandals Naruto is barefoot.

These couldn't be the only clothes he owned right?

After going through the rest of his apartment to... well, snoop I guess, I concluded that those actually were his only cloths.

I decided to go ahead and shower...

Or actually, it was my bladder that decided I needed to do something and since I didn't have a clue how to operate my current bladder release valve I wanted to practice without making a mess.

Don't tell anyone... It was embarrassing enough having to do it, not to mention gross.

But on the bright side I no longer needed to worry about my cycle. Or menopause...

Well, I might actually get along in this world after all.

I was half way through the shower, using the shampoo sparingly because I had always read Naruto couldn't afford things like that, when there was a furious pounding on my apartment door along with... well not quite words, I mean I know they were words to someone, but they sounded like gibberish to me.

Yo ku sa ba ei kai ya and whatever...

I realized I don't speak the same language as them! Getting out of the shower, I grabbed the towel from his laundry machine... It was as wet as I was.

He must have forgotten to hang it out to dry before he fell asleep!

If that were the case, then what about his jumpsuit!?

The noise outside was getting louder.

I tried to make out some of the words, I mean I picked up some of it from my many obsessions with the show right? I should at least be able to figure out who was at the door.

"Naruto! Get you ass out here now! You are sooooo LATE! If we fail Sensei's test because of you I'm going to kill you!" So I guess... Just like that, I could understand Japanese...

But only if I actually listened to pick out words? Nah, I could hear Sasuke mumbling about if the dead last being actually dead would fail them anyway.

Throwing on the cloths regardless of their current moisture level, I rushed to the door, only realizing what was in store for me when I opened it.

Sensei's test. The _Bell_ test...

And a fist crashing down towards me.

It's not like I had any training or anything. Yeah I ran a lot, but that's not fighting.

Naruto though. He did have training, and I didn't have the crushing desire to let Sakura pummel me that he did... Too bad for her.

I caught her fist at the wrist and jabbed mine in her gut. She let out this dry heaving sound and dropped.

If I was going to be Naruto I wouldn't be the Naruto he was...

At least not all the way.

Glancing at Sasuke, I thought I saw a small smirk but it was gone when I did a double take.

"Sakura, please keep your hands to your self. We are ninja now. Officially not children. I expect you to understand the gravity of that."

Sakura looked up at me as if I had grown a second head. "Idiot! You're the one who didn't show up for our very first team meeting!"

* * *

Thank you for reading this.

So I have many of these stories. I plan to do one for each of the main and important side characters, as well as for their Chibi's.

Let me know what you think in the Reviews, and who else you want me to become. As it is fiction, I can be anybody.


	2. Chapter 2

**Getting My Bearings As Naruto Uzumaki**

* * *

As it happens, we actually were late.

Late to the point that the expert of tardiness, Kakashi, had shown up and given them twenty minutes to return as a full team.

Or all three of us would be sent back to the academy.

Naturally, the other two members of team seven completely ignored the fact that he was just as late as I was.

Thankfully, I didn't have to find my way there on my own.

I was able to just follow the other two and let them do the navigating of this _massive_ village.

I know the anime and the movies don't always fit together when they show the village, however from what I could see the movies were closer to it.

The village was full. As in dense.

While none of the buildings got over three stories, there were several that had raised foundations giving them that fourth level height. They didn't have all the pipes and such shown on them in the movies but lines for clothing and and other wires did hang between the buildings and they had electricity in every one of them.

Unlike the anime and many of the fan fictions I have read, the training grounds weren't actually in the village proper.

No. They were actually in outer sections separated from the village by the great wall everyone is always supposed to be lapping.

When I asked how she knew where it was to begin with, Sakura didn't even send me that angry glare she was supposed to have.

There were, according to Sakura, Five larger training grounds on either side of the village, and behind them were another ten on each side. These twenty outer training grounds were more specific and purposed. Under these were a set of underground training grounds. And it continued out like that, each new set beyond the last one having several more separate grounds as the area encircled grew with the perimeter.

Then there was a section of forest that sided up to either side of the main road.

That's right... The main road.

While there were roads leading away from the village through the training grounds, there was only one real road in and out of the village.

We had arrived by the time she explained all of this to me, and I was disappointed I wouldn't get to ask where specific grounds were.

It had occurred to me that I needed to scout out the forest of death in preparation of the chunin exams.

* * *

The Jonin wasn't what I had expected.

I was expecting him to be tall and aloof, with gravity defying silver hair. Uncaring and lazy.

He was tall at least.

His hair was a light grayish color, but had no shine to it.

So it wasn't like it was silver, and it wasn't all that bright either.

It also didn't stand up.

Instead, he seemed to have it hanging over one side in a tangled mess. It may have been clean but he hadn't use a comb on it.

He stood straight instead of slouched. And his single visible eye, while only slightly opened, was stern instead of bored.

But on top of it all, I could literally _feel_ the danger rolling off of him.

For that matter, I hadn't gotten a good look at my teammates in real life yet either.

Glancing them over, I noticed that while Sakura's hair was bright pink, long _and_ flowing... It wasn't neon.

It was more of a strawberry color.

She also didn't look as thin as the anorexic she had been written as so often.

She had muscles, but they were only as well defined for lack of fat, unlike my real body's calves that could easily have been bigger around than both my hands together, hers were as thin as her arms.

Her forehead was also different. It wasn't actually larger than normal. It was just a regular forehead.

Weird thing to have an insecurity about.

Sasuke on the other hand, was almost exactly as I had pictured him. He looked like his image in the anime. Dark eyes, dark hair that had a black clip holding the back up in an almost peacock spread behind his head.

But from my current stature, he did seem taller than I would have thought.

I just chalked that up to my own decrease in height.

His face held this smile on it that I wanted to call smug but it didn't hold the arrogance I thought it would.

Then the Jonin spoke.

He explained his little bell test almost word for word as it had been explained in the anime. The difference being his pointed looks at me when I didn't react as Naruto should have.

In my defense, I was trying my best not to let my panic show.

I had just realized one majorly big flaw in this whole scenario.

I didn't know how to use jutsu.

Or even chakra for that matter!

What was I supposed to do? I couldn't fake a shadow clone!

I had been so caught up in my little stress out, I didn't notice much of what was going on, until both my teammates vanished from beside me.

Looking to either side told me they had hidden too well for me to even see them.

With my heart beating out of my chest, I closed my eyes and tried to calm down.

I should know how to do it...

Chakra was explained in the anime right? It is one part spiritual energy and one part physical energy.

In fact, everyone is always writing about how Naruto has too much physical and not enough spiritual because he is so dumb. So if I think about it, my chakra control should be way better than his anyway right?

Four years of community college here!

But how am I supposed to even focus these energies? Much less mix them in the right proportion?

Taking one last calming breath, I held it until suddenly I felt my body and my mind in an entirely different way than I ever had before.

It was as if I could feel an inertial pull in my spine and neck that shifted and pulsed, like that jolt when your car finishes stopping and your bones want to keep going forward. But continuous.

At the same time, I felt this warmth and almost shivering vibration in my belly, or just behind it and a little upwards.

These must be the two energies! I realized it with a great relief and excitement.

I was about to actually use _Chakra_!

Who wouldn't be excited about that chance!? I would feel like some kind of super hero or something!

But when I tried to combine the two, it didn't work out that well.

My inertial energy, which I identified as the spiritual, would move as I wanted it to, but I couldn't even shift the vibrating physical energy.

It must have been because this wasn't _my_ body.

It was Naruto's, and he had _years_ of practicing the mixture that _I_ didn't have!

So I channeled my inner Naruto, if I even had such a thing, and tried to stubbornly force it.

Suddenly all of the physical energy was flooding my whole body!

Pushing my spiritual energy into it, I tried to mix the two, but they swirled around each other without combining.

It was as if I was trying to pour milk out of a gallon jug into a Pepsi bottle.

The milk being physical and only having the options of directly up and down and directly _upside down._ No horizontal and no diagonal or any gradient in between.

And to top it off, there is a _coffee filter_ between the two opened bottles. If you've never tried it, milk doesn't flow through a coffee filter so well.

I did manage to make some chakra. As the two energies clashed and swirled I felt this, I guess it was _a flex?_ Sensation.

I could feel the chakra running through my body in a cycle. It followed a path like blood in my veins if I could have felt them.

I focused on that and tried to guide it where I wanted it.

The chakra mechanics in most fan fictions agree that extra speed and strength was created by sending chakra through your limbs. Even further, some said that in order to enhance this you could send it through muscle clusters and individual muscle fibers.

The first step is always supposed to be learning to chakra walk up a tree.

But lets hope that isn't required to use it.

Since I had no idea how to create Shadow clones or even how to do any other jutsu, I would have to show that I had some other genin level ability.

It was commonly written that they would have passed regardless of their skills if they worked together, or that Kakashi wouldn't fail his sensei's son or that the village would force him to pass the Uchiha... But I couldn't risk everything on that!

There was absolutely no way to be certain.

Even if it was solely based on the teamwork, I would still have to show that I was worth working with right?

After all, I did just punch one of them in the gut...They probably weren't feeling the team spirit right about now.

Oops.

Why didn't I think this through before hand! I mean yeah, this might all just be that fever messing with my dreams but it _felt_ real enough.

And who knew how I would get home or If I even could!?

Suddenly I thought of Gingersnap. If I couldn't get home what would happen to her? Would I ever see her again?

The vibrating in my hara as I think it was called, increased drastically. Suddenly my stronger emotions were forcing the physical energy to move and mix as I wanted it to.

I focused the resulting chakra first through all of my limbs, it moved directed by the spiritual energy mixed in with it, and then I seeped it into the muscles themselves. I didn't have the focus or control to pick out separate clusters or individual fibers, but seeping the chakra into the muscles themselves was a lot more than Naruto ever seemed to be able to do.

Opening my eyes, I took one step forward and then another. I began to run at him and the wind racing by my face felt like my head was out the window of my dad's pickup.

My arm reared back as I got ready to transfer this force of speed into his unprepared face.

I knew full and well he was supposed to stop it with casual ease. But Naruto wasn't enhancing his speed in the anime. If I caught him off guard and got one good hit in then maybe I would prove myself.

I could feel the chakra coursing though my legs and in my calves. The muscles clusters there that I had always focused on when running were pulling in time with my step way better than in my real body, and so my chakra honed in on the clusters my mind had isolated.

Suddenly I was on him.

Sooner than even I had expected.

Kakashi's one visible eye had opened wide and then I hit him.

My belly slammed into his face, laying him flat on his back as I bowled over him, tumbling painfully across the ground. My own momentum carried me almost as far passed him as I had started.

"Naruto...? This is supposed to be a life or death battle for survival. are you sure you should be trying things you've never done before?"

The way he asked it, as if I were just trying to carry to many groceries in one trip. It was as if the fact I had knocked him flat didn't mean anything.

My face hurt, and one of my legs twinged. I could feel blood trickling down my shoulder where I must have skidded in the end. The tumble had been painful.

And yet before I knew what I was doing, I was on my feet and my hands had formed some shape in front of me. I vaguely recalled that it was the cross seal that summoned clones before I felt my chakra leaving me.

That's right.

This was Naruto's body and had his instincts and reactions. Just like the arm speed I used when I caught Sakura's wrist even though I had never been in a fight in my entire life.

There were three of me now. The real me and the two clones behind me.

And to my great surprise, the majority of that vibrating physical energy was gone too. The clone jutsu had split my chakra in three and evenly divided it between us right? That was what the anime said it did. Or could do according to fan fictions I had read.

To my satisfaction, the majority of the used chakra was from the physical side, and so the ratio of mind and body had changed in my favor.

I could now channel the remaining mixed chakra through my muscles much quicker than when I was trying it the first time.

I wanted to push some into my eyes but I didn't know what chakra theories held in this reality and didn't want to, even temporarily, go blind.

Thinking quickly, I rushed Kakashi again. I knew my clones would come up with their own attacks and since they had my mind, they should be able to know what I was planning.

I was going to try using the gentle fist on him.

He wouldn't be expecting me to strike out with chakra right? And with the new control I now had I could easily send a blast of chakra at him and create an opening for my clones to go in for the kill.

As I neared him I pulled my right arm back and thrust my two fingers at his arm instead of his body, he would try to block it and lose the use of a limb.

I mean, I didn't actually want to kill him. Or even hurt him for that matter.

He then, simply reached out as my thrust was about to land and curled his hand around my two outstretched fingers.

To say I was caught off guard was only one way that I was caught.

He gave a simple twist and the pain of my fingers threatening to break moved me where he lead. Slamming right into the clone on my right, and then with another twist I was in the line of a punch from my other clone.

The punch landed with all the might behind it, crushing into my jaw. My vision blurred and I was only dimly aware my clone had stumbled backwards in shock at hitting me and burst as he landed.

My head swam as I felt my arm twist and I was pulled around in a loop until I was no longer on my feet.

I landed heavily on my back and the wind was knocked out of me.

The last thing I remember was rolling over so I could vomit, and heaving until everything went black.

* * *

Thank you for reading this.

I hope you have enjoyed my take on the Insert genre of fan fictions.

Please let me know what you think in the reviews.

But remember, **If you don't like it, don't read it, and certainly don't bother to review.** I **will** report any _hostile_ reviews that aren't at least constructive.


	3. Chapter 3

**Acclimating As Naruto Uzumaki**

* * *

The first thing I felt as I woke up was the pain in the left side of my face. My jaw had to have been broken.

The migraine I had been nursing since I woke up in this world was on a whole new level now and I was certain one of my eyes had already swollen shut. Thank you for that stupid clone.

I was restrained.

Upright.

Probably tied to the training post the way Naruto was after he stole the lunch boxes. Well at least I didn't have to keep trying to use jutsu I didn't know.

From there I felt the pain in my ribs and shoulder. Remembering that I had been slammed into the ground hard enough to make me vomit...

"Look who's awake!"

The jovial announcement rang through my head like a hammer hitting a giant bell. I could feel my balance swimming as my brain swelled.

"Sensei, it looks like you nearly killed him!" Sakura seemed a lot more concerned than she should have been...Was I really beaten that badly? Besides, weren't they watching, it was my own clone that hit me.

"Hey, Naruto? Are you able to open your eyes?" Sasuke was in front of me when I managed to open one of them. His eyes widened when his hand touched my face and he peeled back the lid of my open right eye.

He gave a sigh and looked at Kakashi. "Sensei, he has a major concussion, and he feels way too hot to be normal."

"I am aware. However, his fever isn't from his injuries. Or did neither of you notice his cloths were wet when you brought him here?" Both of them looked guiltily at each other, and Sasuke actually winced.

"I expect that was why he overslept too. I could feel his fever the moment I caught his attack. I would put it at roughly thirty-nine to forty degrees. The fact that he was so late to get ready and intentionally wore his clothing wet means he knew he was sick. I am surprised the two of you didn't realize it earlier given his paler and how quiet he has been this morning."

"Sensei he needs to go to the hospital! A fever like that could kill him! Not to mention how hurt he is!" Sakura cried out in an alarmed voice.

"I understand. And if you really wish to save him, then you are more than welcome to cut his ropes and take him there, but as he knew he was sick and came anyway, it is his own fault. If you have an aliment that could jeopardize the mission you are required to at the very least inform your superiors of it. He did nothing. And I will remind you that leaving the training ground for _any_ reason will result in your failure in this test..."

"That's not fair sensei!" Sakura interrupted him with a shout. "If we leave him as he is he could die! You're making us choose between..."

And Kakashi interrupted her in return. "That's the point! This isn't about whether or not he'll survive. There are going to be many missions where someone you know will be hurt or killed and you will have to complete the mission without them. So now I am telling you, to abandon Naruto and complete this mission, if you untie him or attempt to help him survive in any way you will fail! And then you will all go back to the acade..."

Sasuke cut the ropes that held me tied to the training post. I collapsed into Sakura's arms as the bindings that held me up gave way. As soon as he had the ropes off me, Sasuke pulled one of my arms over his shoulders and lifted me to my feet. Sakura supported my weight from the other side, one arm around my waist and the other pressed to my chest.

"How dare you!" The voice that spoke seemed low toned, but the vibration of it echoed through my skull hard enough for my vision to go black. There were dozens of little pinpricks of light speckling through the haze of darkness. I realized this must be what it means to see stars. "You knowingly defied me, and broke the rules I set. You didn't even hesitate to throw away your mission! In fact you're not even going to be welcome back into the academy after this!"

I could hear thunder rolling in the distance. I didn't realize at the time that the same situation had happened in the anime, all I knew was that it was going darker with each word that slammed into my head, and the crashing thunder above made my legs go out.

"Do you have anything you want said before I pass my judgement!"The jonin demanded of them

Without looking back as they dragged my now limp body, Sasuke replied, "Even if it's only for this test, Naruto is my teammate. A stupid test isn't worth his life."

"When we get to the hospital I'm going to place a formal complaint with the academy head. I know for a fact that this is taking it too far! When the civilian council hears that you demanded us to let an orphan kid die in order to become genin the least you'll get is a chewing out from the Hokage!"

Sakura's threat was completely out of nowhere. I had no idea if this world had the fan-scripted council or not. And that Sakura of all people would invoke their wrath as a weapon... Weren't both of her parents shinobi?

Suddenly the thunder was gone...

"Okay Sakura, that's a little too childish. Just how much authority do you think the idiots on the civilian council even have? Your mother would be disappointed in you."

"You forget that she was friends with several of them sensei. I know they at the very least can give the Hokage a headache about this until he has no better option than to chew you out just to shut them up, and take out his own frustrations at them on you when he does so."

"Well not that I care about that, but once you have Naruto settled at the hospital the two of you can meet me at the Hokage's office. He'll personally explain how much leeway I have in this test. Oh and before I forget, you three passed."

I was jolted when the two of them stopped. "See the real point of the test was to see if you could work together."

And so he explained the underneath the underneath and his personal matto.

When that was done, the duo helped me to the hospital. by that time I could walk mostly. but Sakura still supported me as we made our way there, and when there was an incline or stairs Sasuke would help lift me.

* * *

After arriving, we were sent to an exam room out of the public area. While there Sakura attempted to get the intake papers but they only let her explain what was wrong and wrote it down. They had me remove the upper part of my jump suit and take off my shirt, then gave me two pills, presumably painkillers.

It took about half an hour before someone returned and by then I had already passed out again. Sasuke woke me and kept me awake. The medic who came to check me in glared hatefully when Sakura said that she hadn't been given any intake papers. "Those would be redundant. We have a rather large file for _this one_. It is your misfortune to have been placed on his team."

She walked over to me and began placing her hands on my chest neck and forehead. They glowed green as she did so. since neither of the other two said anything I assumed this was the normal way they did things, not scale or air pumped armband and ear thingy getting pressed into my elbow. I know what that thing is called but I don't remember it. I missed home, I could have easily looked the word up on my phone.

On the other hand I didn't even know if they existed in this world.

It was a while before the medic finished. When her hands stopped glowing, She began to rub a cream on my shoulder. where the skin had been ground into burger meat. She also wrapped a sling around my neck and settled my right arm into it. It had been dislocated and then popped back in during the test. She wrapped my two right fingers tightly with one of the tongue depressors between them and told me not to bend them. They had been fractured.

She ordered me to stay off my legs for the next two days as I had torn several muscles in my calves. She had a puzzled expression when she examined them. As if the tearing didn't make sense, but moved on with a sigh and shrug.

She also told the other two the one of the pills I had been given earlier was a pain killer, handing a small bottle to Sakura she told her to give me another every two hours. The other pill was to treat the concussion. That should be gone in another four hours. She personally wasn't skilled enough to remove it manually and it would have to be treated naturally.

As for my jaw, that would have to be dealt with by a more advanced medic. The chakra enhanced punch had broken it just below the left angle of the mandible. Right where my molars were. I would be given a neck brace once that was done. As for the fever. It seemed to be an autoimmune response in my peripheral nervous system. I had no idea what that meant. But once she had identified the cause of the fever, the medic was no longer interested in answering Sakura's questions and rushed out of the room.

When she returned she was followed by the Hokage as well as Kakashi, and another medic we hadn't seen. This medic quickly went to work on my jaw and while the pain was dulled the feeling of my bones shifting inside my skin was unpleasant. "The jaw has been re-aligned, all loose fragments have been set and the splinters were compressed. I have reduced the swelling but it won't go away completely for another ten to fifteen minutes and we are going to have to place a small patch and brace on the side of your face to keep it in place. Once done we will wrap it in a bandage to maintain pressure and prevent you from dislodging the brace."

While the new medic went around to my back and began examining the auto-whatever-that-was-giving-me-a-fever, the other one placed a hand on my jaw and stood there waiting for the swelling to go down. I could feel it as if eased. My left eye was going be usable soon.

"It seems as if there was a major neural seizure." Obviously this time he was speaking with the Hokage. "Throughout his entire body. It isn't from a genjutsu or _another_ source of foreign chakra. However his neural pathways are, for lack of a better description, agitated. His entire system, is in an exhausted state from some kind of shock, and have been overactive since."

Both Sasuke and Sakura were looking at me wide eyed now. But neither of them would ask in front of the Hokage. The old man sighed as he glared at Kakashi. "You really were a little too excessive."

Turning his glare to the medic, "What is your conclusion?"

The medic predicted that the fever would dissipate after a few days of rest and healthy eating, recommending that Naruto be kept in the hospital for no less than two nights.

He stated his presumed cause of the shock to his system was either psychosomatic or the result of a mass infusion of mental feedback, given Naruto's recently learned that explanation Kakashi's eye twitched. Sharply.

He obviously didn't want whatever was said to have been said... But what?

"I see." The Hokage spoke gravely. "Naruto do have any idea the sheer number of clones you used the night you graduated?"

I shook my head..

"Iruka-kun seemed to think it was in the multiples of hundreds, If not over a full thousand. It is possible your body is reacting to that many clones being dispelled at once... No one has ever been able to make more than a few of them before. The record before that night was fifty-seven and not only was it the one single time anyone made so many, it ruined the shinobi attempting it. His chakra system was entirely exhausted and he never recovered."

Placing his hand on my shoulder, the stern and caring eyes of this grandfatherly man came level with my own. Both my eyes opened in order to meet his gaze. "Don't overuse this jutsu, Naruto."

I could feel the intensity of his gaze in my soul! and for a moment was certain he would see that I wasn't actually him. It was almost as half the fan fictions described killing intent. A pressure on my veins themselves, a gravity pressing in on me from all directions and the only thing really missing was the malice and fear it was meant to convey.

I swallowed and nodded my head again.

* * *

Once the Hokage was satisfied with my answer, he ushered all but the first medic we met out of the room. He excused their leaving to me with the fact he still needed to speak to Sasuke and Sakura about the test.

And so I was left with the medic who had glared at me and pitied my teammates for being on my team. for the first time I noticed that her expression had changed to one of stunned disbelief. When she caught me glancing at her she whispered. "Over a full thousand?"

* * *

Sidestory: Unknown to me - No. 01

The next morning, Sasuke and Sakura arrived at the training ground. Sakura was going to head over to Ino's and pick up some flowers for Naruto as soon as they finished their mission... Maybe she would bring him lunch too. The medic had said he needed to eat right for a couple days. The boredom would be killing him by then. _Besides that, we need to apologize to him._ Inner Sakura added. Sakura hadn't realized it until he hit her back, but she had been hitting him several times a day recently. when had it gotten that bad? She wondered to her inner self. _Well it's not like he didn't have it coming. If he wanted it to stop he should have stopped pestering us!_

But she knew it was more than that. The glare that medic gave him didn't go unnoticed. Neither did the fact that the Exam room they used was the one for extremely contagious illnesses.

Even Sasuke had been on guard the entire time they were there. If not for the hokage's disdainful look when he spoke with the woman, the two of them wouldn't have noticed how terrified she was when dealing with Naruto while he was there.

She was going to ask Sasuke what he thought about it but their sensei was waiting for them when they arrived.

Kakashi hadn't told them when to be there, so as his parting words the Hokage had let them know he was almost never on time and they could just arrive around nine in the morning so they could train for a few hours before he got there. Taking that to mean he would be as late as the day before both of them agreed to show up at noon.

"You're late." his disconcerned voice commented. "I've been here since seven this morning, you know."

Both of them swallowed their laughter.

"So, Sakura. You filed the formal complaint anyway." His voice had changed slightly from uncaring to emotionless.

"I did." She replied matter-of-factually.

"Out of spite?"

"Very perceptive, sensei. It's easy to see why you're a Jonin." Her face was as innocent as she could make it look.

His eye closed and she got the impression he was smiling. "I guess we should start today's missions. Sakura, seeing as how one of our team members is in the hospital you will be on a solo guard duty mission. You will stay with Naruto in the hospital until visiting hours close. This specific mission doesn't pay anything. But I expect you to ensure the safety of the staff who have to deal with Naruto's boredom. Don't let him cause any trouble. From now on his behavior is your personal responsibility."

Turning away from the gaping girl, Kakashi addressed a smirking Sasuke. "Uchiha, I have been in contact with several clients requesting you for various missions. None of them are going to be happy about the wait. Our mission, is to assist the shopping of roughly twenty civilian women in the clothing district. Afterwards you are to personally escort a certain clan heiress to a dining event this evening." As he finished the last mission description he sent a look at Sakura that she could only assume was a sneer or something like it. Given his recent reasons to get back at her, she could already guess who the girl would be.

* * *

Thank you for reading this.

The word is Stethoscope BTW.

I took a while trying to figure out who the medical scene would play out. But I wanted to have signs of her arrival in Naruto's body to still be present.

I think the side-story was a good idea. I needed a way to add in details that Naruto wouldn't see and since this is a 1st person POV story, this was the best idea I had.

There is more to come! Please let me know what you think in the reviews.

But remember, **If you don't like it, don't read it, and certainly don't bother to review.** I **will** report any _hostile_ reviews that aren't at least constructive.


End file.
